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Reappearing Snails in the Shower with Gandalf
Long time since my last post - I know. It doesn’t really matter when I post or if I post because no one’s really reading anyway… right? (if you are reading, show me some evidence by reblogging or sending me an email… wait… never mind, don’t send me any emails). Enough small talk, let me set up the situation for the dream I had last night.
I ended up crashing at my friend’s house. His name is Rae. Check out our new project at fudge… I dropped my iphone. And if you have even an ounce of heart left in your soul you will: drop your iphone, visit the site, and post a picture of the damage.
Now… back to my story… So like I was saying: I crashed at Rae’s house for the night. I don’t know if dreams are weirder when you change up sleeping venues or something, but guessing from last night… hell yeah, they’re weirder.
Joking aside, I had some ill good sleep. I’m talking beauty sleep here. Good shit. Nevertheless, my dreams were somewhat less than good. Not bad, but not good either.
The Dream:
I was just taking a shower when all of a sudden a man pops out of no where and starts dictating something. I know… weird right?
I’ll have you know that this was somewhat of an enlarged shower, otherwise there would be no room for the other man with a beard (I didn’t mention he had a beard, did I ?)
Well, anyways, he had a beard. Kind of Gandalf-looking, I must say. Whatever, I just remember he was definitely dictating something and he had a large staff. So he probably was Gandalf… in my shower… and no there were no hobbits.
You’re probably picturing me as naked because, well, I told you I was taking a shower in a massive, enlarged tub. But, no. You’re wrong kind sir or madame. I had a shirt on… and that’s about all I can remember. I’m sure I had shorts on, but no one will know for sure…
Here comes the weird part that I remember most vividly. I looked down at my right thigh and a small snail appeared. the shell of the snail looked like a lady bug. I looked up at Gandalf and he seemed to be mad at me. So, desperately, I start explaining myself as if there’s some way I could salvage the situation.
Subsequently, I flick the little shit off my thigh, but Gandalf still seems mad at me. So I look back down and there it is again. The same bastard is back on my thigh again. I flick it off again and then the same cycle of events happens a few more times and then I wake up.
Thank God for my annoying alarms. I couldn’t take the strangeness anymore. Mad weird. But, hey, sometimes you gotta get through the weird dreams to ground you back in reality… huh, huh, am I right?
Aight, I guess that was a stretch, but I’ll leave you to your own weird dreams now…
Sleep tight. Dream right…
I’ve never really heard music in my dreams. I wonder if that’s possible…
(this is epic)
Partying With Lebron James
I couldn’t remember my dream last night until hours after I woke. Then all of a sudden, my memory erupted in orgy.
I met Lebron James last night.
…In my sleep of course.
The Dream:
A few friends and I were just having a little shin-dig at my apartment in Gainesville or some unnamed college town. Either way, it was fun.
Everything was going smoothly until we hear a knock at the door. Actually there really wasn’t a knock - I just made that up for dramatic effect.
From what I can remember, Lebron just walked outta no where. He had a few goons with him. Probably his entourage.
Don’t mistake my monotonous tone for nonchalance. I was utterly surprised by Lebron’s visit. As you all know, when you’re in a dream - it feels like real life.
So, I really thought Lebron James was coming to chill with me and my friends. For what reason?
I have no clue.
But it did happen.
One day I will proclaim that I will party with Lebron James in real life. And one of my friends will say, “In your dreams…” and I will smoothly reply back, “Been there, done that.”
It will be awesome.
We haven’t even reached the climax of my dream yet. The oddest part has yet to come, my friends.
As some of you well know, dreams come at you in frames when you try to recount them. Even sometimes when you are experiencing a dream, it will be chopped up into different stories. Oftentimes you’ll end up napping in a hammock in Hawaii after you just fought off an underground ninja brotherhood in San Francisco Chinatown and you won’t have the slightest clue as to how you got there.
This is kinda what happened to me when I was partying with ‘The King’
As I told you earlier, Lebron came in with an entourage. Maybe… two or three other buddies with him. When I focused my attention on one of his other friends, it turned out to be Weezy. Yeah… Lil Wayne.
WTF.
In a later frame I was in the kitchen and saw Dwayne Wade getting a drink from the fridge. I guess Lebron was just chillin’ with Weezy and D Wade. And they just decided to crash a small-town college party.
That’s just how they roll.
Epic dream. Epic night.
Bad Planning
Had some crazy dreams last night with sexual undertones and all. Alas, I cannot remember what it was about. Oh well, that’s the beauty of sleep, you always get more…
- [Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
- 12 Plays
Time to do a little freestylin’…
Beards Galore
I’m rockin’ the chin curtain right now. But if I could have any of these beards in a dream, I think it would be the Fu Manchu, mainly ‘cause I could never pull that off in real life.
But, also ‘cause I want to be a fictional evil mastermind too. I’ll add it to the list of things I need to do before I die…
onlineschools.org
via lone immortal
Superhero Stadium
The Dream:
I was sitting at the edge of a massive, uncontrollable crowd. When I tried to identify individual persons in the huge blob of people circling around the spherical stage, i couldn’t. It was a huge blurry mass of people in a grand arena, like in a bad sports video game from the 90s.
Then, music blasting, out of nowhere, all of these superheores come flying in.
I wait anxiously for Green Lantern, who, I have a man crush on in real life. I guess the same was true for this dream.
The air was pulsing with excitement. It was electrifying. “Back In Black” by ACDC was playing on a huge speaker system fit for 70,000 people. I felt like I was watching American Gladiators, but it was the real deal with both DC and Marvel Superheroes. Well, I don’t really remember if my dream stayed true to the DC Universe, but there were so many characters flying in I don’t really recall now…
And then, all of a sudden I see Green Lantern. This manly superhuman was glowing with green goodness. I was so excited. And then all of a sudden, as if time was up for the Superhero showcase, they were gone just as fast as they came.
A new act was coming to the stage. I thought, “what could be better than superheros doing their super-poses, demonstrating their super-powers, and super-smiling for the cameras?
A bunch of overly fat girls were getting ready to enter the stage. And these weren’t your run of the mill fat girls. They were big. They were “super” big. And not in a superhero kinda way. Think “super hero meatball sandwich” kinda way.
Yeah… huge.
They all toppled over each other before getting through the entrance. There were cries of worry erupting through the stadium. As if people wanted to see these obese girls exhibit their oversized dance moves. I assumed they were going to dance because they were wearing dance-like costumes. But, who really knows? It could have been a dominatrix exhibition for all i know. Thank God I got outta there with faster-than-human speed.
I had woke up.
